I once did a whole cross of a cop on how much more accurate his interview with my client could have been if he had engaged in Active Listening and Perception Checking. [I knew this would resonate with two different jurors who had recently been in couples counseling.] It was fun. For me and the jurors, at least. [Crossing on the facts is rarely as much fun.]

Listening = active listening. That’s for another day; it might wind up with its own rule.

So, I’ll add to the dating metaphor, see your “listening” and raise you a “make a connection to” and a “do a perception check.” Good for dates, at least, and possibly great with strangers who do not wish to be on a date at all.

Listening does not equal getting what the potential juror was saying. We are more often than not, wrong. Perception checks: How would that work, do you think? Can you give an example? Always? How often? Why? What about if ….

The ultimate (for try-out dates, for sure) is connecting with. * Me, too’s! * That’s when our skeptical dates start to feel connected. Me, too’s: I knew someone like that; Something like that happened to me, who else? My grandmother used to say something like that! My dad had that rule, too. ** A juror says something and we connect to it, revealing shared points-of-view, values, family, pet-peeves.

Thanks for the metaphoric thinking, Mark!