jury selection

We lawyers love to hear ourselves talk. That can be the death of a jury selection. In a good voir dire, the jurors do most of the talking. Even if I can't hear what the lawyer and jurors are saying, I can tell a good voir dire from a bad one by listening, as long as I can tell who is talking. Lawyer talking most of the time? Bad. Jurors talking most of the time? Good.

They are once again on their way. They are walking through the
forest. Shrek belches.

DONKEY
Shrek!

SHREK
What? It's a compliment. Better out
than in, I always say. (laughs)

DONKEY

You may not have noticed this, but people don't like lawyers very much. Or rather, they don't like people acting like lawyers very much. Once they get to know them, they like the human beings behind the label just fine, but it's not the jurors' job to go behind the label, and if you define yourself as "Big Important Attorney Man" they're not going to. I bet a young lawyer $50 that he would get laid more if his business cards said "Self-Important Asshat, Esq." instead of "Attorney at Law". Not the easiest $50 I've ever earned, but it was easier than stringing barbed wire.

Rule 1 of my Simple Rules for Better Jury Selection is the Nike Rule: Just do it.

It's not a very sexy rule, so I won't lead off with it when I'm speaking in Waco in September (I'll probably put it at the end for the few faithful who stick around); I'll give you Rule 2 (The First Date Rule) soon, so don't feel too ripped off.

Just do it. A rule on three levels.

An evolving list:

1. The Nike Rule.

A few rules from growing up Bennett:

• Never lose altitude unnecessarily.
• Slow, slow.
  

This is the case on which I was deselected from the jury last week. Now I'm glad Caroline "Wonder Woman" Dozier decided to strike me; I wouldn't want to be remembered for having sent a guy to prison during my tenure as HCCLA President.

When I sat on a jury panel this week, one thing that jumped to my attention was the behavior of the accused. He, a non-English speaker wearing headphones to listen to the simultaneous translation of the proceedings, had his head down, chin against his chest, for -- as far as I could tell -- the entirety of the voir dire.

I know that he was probably terrified, but it was, to be frank, a challenge to presume him innocent -- he looked either guilty or brain-damaged.

Judges will start giving lawyers more time if lawyers start performing better voir dire.

Lawyers will start performing better voir dire if judges start giving them more time.

I was called for jury duty today. Strangely, none of my 100-or-so fellows in the jury assembly room seemed nearly as excited about the prospect of serving as I felt. When I made it to the courtroom (the 180th District Court, Hon. Debbie Mantooth Stricklin presiding) and saw that Caroline "Wonder Woman" Dozier, one of my favorite prosecutors, was prosecuting the case, I thought I might actually have a chance of making it onto the jury -- Caroline might, I thought, have the guts to allow me on the jury.