Defending People

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From the Harris County Sexually Oriented Enterprise Regulations

“Semi-nude” means “any state of dress which opaquely covers no more than a human buttock, anus, male genitalia, female genitalia or areola of a female breast.”

Can anyone tell me what that means? I think it’s English, but I’m not certain.


About The Author

Mark Bennett
Mark Bennett got his letter of marque from the Supreme Court of Texas in May 1995. He is famous for having no sense of humor when it comes to totalitarianism.

Comments

6 Responses to “From the Harris County Sexually Oriented Enterprise Regulations”

  1. Tarian says:

    An alternate definition of this, from what I have observed in the lobby and elevators, is: “The preferred attire for women visiting the Harris County Criminal Justice Center.”

  2. Windypundit says:

    It’s the “or” that bothers me. That makes it sound like topless or bottomless—but not both—would qualify as semi-nude, and I don’t think that’s the intent.

  3. Leviathan says:

    Just two questions . . .

    All of the references appear to explicitly or implicitly refer to humans (giving an appropriate nod to gender references), except for the anus.

    Does this leave room for nonhuman anuses to go bare?

    Is “anus” included simply as a metaphor to indicate that fully-clothed people with bad attitudes will now be considered semi-nude?

    If it’s not used as a metaphor and people are forced to cover their anuses, could the resultant muffling of some voices be considered an unlawful restriction of free speech?

    And, by the way, as the definition appears to refer to only a single buttock or breast, what happened to equal protection? (Note: I purposely am not raising this issue with regard to genitalia.)

  4. Leviathan says:

    Forgive me. In my confusion, I lost count.

  5. JT says:

    Ambiguity allows law enforcement and the city to prosecute based on their attitudes, and not on letter of the law. Obviously community standards are enforced in matters like these, but wording a law so objectively means that one person will get charged for wearing a shear shirt while another won’t. It’s poor law writing.

  6. Mark Bennett says:

    If I opaquely cover two buttocks, I’ve covered more than a human buttock, so I’m not semi-nude, right?

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