Posted on
December 24, 2008 in
The following was posted on Murray Newman’s blog yesterday, but after Murray was double-plus-unhired from the office he took it down. I’m reconstructing it as nearly as I can here (with my own flourish), not because I think Murray has no backbone, nor because it’s particularly good (it was created in collaboration among Murray’s commenters), nor because it’s particularly nice (it trends toward the nasty), but rather because information wants to be free:
On the 12 Days of Christmas, Pat Lykos gave to the Harris County Assistant DAs:
12 jurors chosen witout a preemptive strike used by the state;
11 free “crooked cop passes” from Mr. Police Integrity himself……Clint Greenwood;
10 internal memos re: unprofessionalism of reading toxic, antiregime blogs at work;
9 new ashtrays for the 6th floor smoking lounge;
8 days of Lykos Hell every single week;
7 insulted yarmulka-wearing witnesses;
6 emails from my family wanting an explanation for why I won’t be visiting as planned for New Years;
5 new pantsuits;
4 free tickets for a reception on January 1, 2009 that I’m forced to attend;
3 washed out judges;
2 Leitner balls; and
A little troll from a spider hole….
I wouldn’t even have linked to it if Murray hadn’t been redundantly fired for publishing it. But if you want to ensure that some piece of information gets disseminated as widely as possible, try to suppress it.
Here’s the relevant part of the original from the bloglines cache….
In the end, it is entirely written by commenters only. Thank you all for keeping me laughing all morning.
I think the finished product pretty much ensures that Lykos won’t be giving one of those “You like me! You really like me!” speeches at her Coronation on January 1st.
So, on behalf of my Disgruntled Commenters, I proudly present, The Twelve Days of Lykos:
On the First Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
One bitter troll from a spider hole.
On the Second Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Two Leitner balls and a bitter troll from a spider hole.
On the Third Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Fourth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Four new pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Fifth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Five free invitations to a reception on January 1st that I’m forced to attend, four new pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Sixth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Six e-mails from family wanting to know why I won’t be visiting as planned for New Year’s, five free invitations to a reception on January 1st that I’m forced to attend, four new pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Seventh Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Seven days of Lykos Hell every week, six e-mails from family wanting to know why I won’t be visiting as planned for New Year’s, five free invitations to a reception on January 1st that I’m forced to attend, four new pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Eighth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Eight insulted Yarmulke wearing witness, seven days of Lykos Hell, six e-mails from family, five free invitations! Four pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Ninth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Nine contractors measuring for a 6th floor smoking balcony, eight insulted Yarmulke wearing witness, seven days of Lykos Hell, six e-mails from family, five free invitations! Four pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Tenth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Ten internal memos regarding unprofessionalism of reading toxic, anti-regime blogs at work, nine contractors measuring for a 6th floor smoking balcony, eight insulted Yarmulke wearing witness, seven days of Lykos Hell, six e-mails from family, five free invitations! Four pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Eleventh Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Eleven free “crooked cop passes” from Mr. Public Integrity Himself, ten internal memos regarding unprofessionalism of reading toxic, anti-regime blogs at work, nine contractors measuring for a 6th floor smoking balcony, eight insulted Yarmulke wearing witness, seven days of Lykos Hell, six e-mails from family, five free invitations! Four pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!
On the Twelfth Day of Lykos, Snookems gave to me,
Twelve jurors chosen without peremptory strikes used by the State, eleven free “crooked cop passes” ten internal memos on toxic blogs, nine contractors measuring for a 6th floor smoking balcony, eight insulted Yarmulke wearing witness, seven days of Lykos Hell, six e-mails from family, five free invitations! Four pantsuits, three washed out judges, two Leitner balls, and a bitter troll from a spider hole!