Kevin McHenry of R.W. Lynch: Cluephone Ringing; It's For You

 Posted on April 11,2008 in Uncategorized

Kevin McHenry has called nine times to try to sell me something. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't have my office number; he keeps calling directly to my answering service number.

Here's his first message:

3/14/08 11:47A"to"::MR. BENNETT"first;::KEVIN"last"::MCHENRY"phone"::800-333-0401 EX 1121"re": INFO ON PERSONAL INJURY CASES3/14/08 11:47A

Okay: I'm a criminal-defense lawyer. I don't want "info on personal injury cases", and nothing could possibly have given Mr. McHenry the idea that I did. So, exercising my prerogative in dealing with solicitors, I ignored the message.

His second call didn't mention personal injury cases. Just "please call me back." His third call was "PLEASE CALL ME RE: PERSONAL INJURY CASE." That's a familiar scam: I regularly get calls from people selling referral services like LegalMatch.com (services that violate the Texas Disciplinary Rules of Professional Conduct); they'll call the wrong number and leave messages like "calling about a new criminal case." Usually I can tell, even if they haven't given the game away in an earlier call like Mr. McHenry, that it's a marketing call (potential clients don't generally call from toll-free numbers), and ignore it.

On his fifth call Kevin McHenry he left a company name as well: "R.W. Lynch." A quick Google search revealed that R.W. Lynch sells the "personal injury helpline" - advertising for personal injury lawyers, in other words. Yeah. Still not interested.

On his eighth call, he left this message: "PLEASE CALL ME. I'M WITH RW LYNCH. I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU‘D BE INTERESTED IN REFERRALS FOR PERSONAL INJURY CASES. IF NOT OR IF SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW SOMETHING." The eighth time is the charm, right? Maybe I am interested in your product, but I haven't been returning your calls because I'm too dumb to know that I should tell you that I'm interested. Or maybe if if you tell me how to tell you that I'm interested, and I continue to ignore you, you'll figure out that I'm not interested and waste your time elsewhere.

No such luck. Apparently this Kevin McHenry guy doesn't have the brains to know that if you call me eight times over more than a month and I haven't called you back, I'm not going to. On ninth call (as on his fourth, sixth, and seventh) he left no phone number, just "will call back."

Okay, good luck with that. I'm sure you'll reach me the tenth time.