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 January 30, 2015 in 

I would never say that I don’t need to prove that I don’t need to prove that I’m opposed to cops being murdered. Because it’s obvious that I don’t need to prove that I don’t need to prove that I oppose murder, and rape, and revenge porn, and all of the other bad things. It goes without saying. And nobody would suggest that I need to prove that I need to prove that I’m opposed to bad things unless I proactively insisted that such was not the case.

So, once and for all, not only am I opposed to all the bad things, but also I don’t need to prove it. And furthermore I don’t need to prove that.

I hope it’s obvious. I would hate to have to prove that I don’t need to prove that I don’t need to prove that I oppose all of the bad things.

(I want Urban Dictionary credit for coining the verb “to gertrude,” meaning “to create doubt in a proposition by insisting upon it.”)

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19 Comments

  1. shg January 30, 2015 at 9:00 pm - Reply

    I’m so ashamed. Well, not that ashamed, but ashamed.

  2. Mark's Dad January 30, 2015 at 10:07 pm - Reply

    It may be obvious to you but I’d like to see your proof.

  3. Alex Bunin January 31, 2015 at 10:11 am - Reply

    Where does that verb even come from? Gertrude Stein? Alice B. Toklas?

    • Mark Bennett January 31, 2015 at 10:44 am - Reply

      Hamlet.

    • David Kogan January 31, 2015 at 11:44 am - Reply

      “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”* *- I don’t know where this ranks in terms of most frequently misquoted lines, but it has to be up there, along with “falsely shouting fire in a theater and causing a panic” and “If she can stand it, I can. Play it!”

      • Mark Bennett January 31, 2015 at 12:34 pm - Reply

        Misquoted and also misinterpreted. But the misinterpretation has passed into common knowledge, so I’m going with it.

      • MattS February 27, 2015 at 7:31 pm - Reply

        “But the misinterpretation has passed into common knowledge, so I’m going with it.”

        Common knowledge, two lies for the price of one.

  4. Brian Urban February 2, 2015 at 8:08 am - Reply

    One of the first things you learn when writing a Masters Thesis is that you cannot prove a negative.

    • Mark Bennett February 2, 2015 at 9:46 am - Reply

      I see that as a failure of American universities, high schools, and middle schools.

      Elementary schools get a pass.

      • votre February 26, 2015 at 2:55 pm - Reply

        Elementary schools, yes. But does that include charter elementary schools?

  5. […] ← 2015.33: In Which I Gertrude About Gertruding about Gertruding […]

  6. Lindsey Linder February 4, 2015 at 9:20 am - Reply

    I am visiting this blog for the first time today after it was referenced by Grits For Breakfast’s latest blog… and I’m staying because this is the greatest blog entry it the history of ever. I’m not exaggerating, and I don’t have to prove it. And I certainly don’t have to prove that I don’t have to prove that I’m not exaggerating. #ToGertrude

  7. […] with a bit of Gertruding, Elie goes […]

  8. The Sliding Scale | Simple Justice February 24, 2015 at 2:51 pm - Reply

    […] Edit: Apologies for the Gertruding, but as some find this a troubling nuance to understand, it appears necessary to state the obvious: […]

  9. […] Turner “Gertrudes” due process, necessary and proper elsewhere but not when it comes to survivors, she makes […]

  10. […] Also, note the classic censor's rhetorical move: you always start saying you respect free speech. BUT . . . . [Edit: I am reminded that the technical term for this is "gertruding."] […]

  11. JorgXMcKie March 2, 2015 at 8:07 am - Reply

    ZOMG! Came here from Popehat. Where has this been all my life?

  12. […] screed, making bald assertion after bald assertion of the evils of free speech, with a bit of Gertruding thrown because […]

  13. Kopf: Howl | Simple Justice August 2, 2017 at 6:00 am - Reply

    […] that our Native brethren received more than their fair share of shit. So what? That is all the Gertruding I am willing to engage […]

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