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 February 7, 2013 in 

Ring.

“This is Mark Bennett.”

“Hello, Mark, how are you doing today?”

“I’m w—”

“This is Glenn, with Xerox. I was just calling today because I thought you might be interested…”

Glenn, you numbskull. The object of “how are you doing today” is to get me in “yes mode,” responding to you positively in accordance with established social conventions, before you reveal that you’re calling to try to sell me something.

If you don’t give me a chance to answer it, it doesn’t work.

If you do give me a chance to answer it, it doesn’t work either—I don’t play nice with people calling to sell me stuff. But if you call a thousand people and don’t cut them off after you ask how they’re doing, you’ll sell more copiers than if you call a thousand people and do.

Slow down, Glenn. Take your time. Selling copier leases is not a race. If you don’t schmooze your leads a little, you’ll never close.

Put that coffee down, Glenn.

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14 Comments

  1. Nicholas Sarwark February 7, 2013 at 10:37 am - Reply

    I used to sell, so I take all sales calls unless they come at a ridiculously inconvenient time. when I started, I was taught that if the prospect doesn’t buy you, they won’t buy what you’re selling. Those mythical salesmen who can sell ice to the Eskimo, are generally just very good at building rapport with prospects, so the actual sale of a product is almost an afterthought.

    • Mark W. Bennett February 7, 2013 at 10:59 am - Reply

      I used to sell, so I take all sales calls unless they come at a ridiculously inconvenient time.

      Is this a non sequitur, or is it like me leaving ridiculously high tips because I used to wait table?

      • Nicholas Sarwark February 7, 2013 at 2:23 pm - Reply

        It’s exactly like leaving large tips because you used to wait tables. Something I do as well.

    • Mark's Dad February 7, 2013 at 11:42 am - Reply

      ALL sales calls to me come at “ridiculously inconvenient” times – whether I’m working, sleeping, making love, petting the dog, reading, or just daydreaming.

  2. Keith Newstrom February 7, 2013 at 10:50 am - Reply

    Pussies… This is how you sell to attorneys:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nPqJl8tWn0

    • Mark Bennett February 7, 2013 at 8:59 pm - Reply

      I’m sure I’m not the only one disappointed that the content of that video was not as you advertised it.

      • Keith Newstrom February 11, 2013 at 8:44 am - Reply

        Hahahaha. I will be more clear in the future.

  3. Joe Pullen February 7, 2013 at 11:03 am - Reply

    Glenn is a noob in sales terms. Piece of adivce #1 – work through executive admins – they are not gatekeepers they are your friends. If you are a salesperson calling a potential customer, the first words out of your mouth no mattter if it is the exec or the admin should be “Hi this is Glenn with XYZ company, do you have a few minutes for me to tell you what this is about?” If not, you ask for a time to call back for a quick 5 minute call – 5 minutes that’s it – if you can’t convey your value prop in 3 to 5 minutes tops you don’t know what the fuck your doing. You have to manage your sales calls to times that are convenient for your prospects. Don’t assume they’re sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for you to call them.

    Your value prop should be what is it you offer that is of specific value to them (know your prospect and their busines first – do your research- don’t waste their time), who else you’ve delivered that value to (people relate to companies that have worked with others like them), and a single bullet point on why you are either a better, faster, or cheaper solution than X competitors. Be brief and be relevant. Then and only then do you ask if they are interested in discussing further, will they take an appointment, or is there someone in their company they want you to work with, etc.

    Geez guys like this really give the sales profession a bad name.

  4. Ron in Houston February 7, 2013 at 5:19 pm - Reply

    Honestly, assuming the guy had given you the time to answer would the result have been any different?

    Give the guy credit, at least he’s in there making the hundreds of calls to finally get a lead.

    I agree with Mark’s Dad all those calls are ridiculously inconvenient. It’s part of the reason I simply loathe the telephone.

  5. Cjclawyer February 7, 2013 at 8:54 pm - Reply

    Mark,

    Is “Mark’s Dad” really your father? Because I think he’s hilarious!

    • Mark Bennett February 7, 2013 at 9:00 pm - Reply

      This has been the subject of some debate over the last 42 years, but I am pretty well convinced.

      • Jackie C. February 8, 2013 at 3:58 am - Reply

        snh. . . LOL

  6. David Pemberton February 8, 2013 at 5:53 am - Reply

    This reminds me a little of Schubert: ‘If you talked to him, he would say ‘How are you? Good!’ and carry on working without another word’.
    Of course, what he was working on is now played as tinny Muzak by these salesmen.

    • Mark's Dad February 8, 2013 at 6:46 am - Reply

      Perhaps, like Schubert, Glenn knows he will die soon and feels he doesn’t have time to schmooze – or, perhaps not.

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