Look on the Bright Side: This Way You Can Do It on the Clock
Down at the criminal courthouse, the prosecutors are hard at work: updating their résumés. All Harris County Assistant District Attorneys, from the lowliest misdemeanor four to the most entrenched division chief, have been told by the incoming management to do so. (I couldn't make this stuff up.)
Wow! That'll be great for morale!
I will be offering my résumé-editing assistance for a fee. Here's a free sample for my friends in the Office: in the 21st Century it's important to show an understanding of modern media, so make sure to mention that you are an avid reader of the Life at the Harris County Criminal Justice Center blog. (I made that crack to a prosecutor, who responded, deadpan, "what's a blog?")
I will also be sending glowing letters of recommendation for all of the prosecutors. There's no charge for this service - I want to help. If you'd like me not to send a letter praising you, send me $100 via PayPal. Make it $200, and I'll send a letter reviling you.
(Napoleon's Third Rule of Infantry Combat: When your adversary is in the process of destroying himself, do not interfere. So that's all I have to say about that.)