Pass the Popcorn

 Posted on July 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

Let me sum up:

Jim's client is Paul's client's mistress.

Chip's client is Paul's client's wife.

Jim's client hires a hitman to kill Chip's client.

After she is arrested, Jim's Client claims that Paul's client was in on the scheme.

The case against Paul's client is dropped after Jim's client, via letter from jail, tries to get Paul's client whacked.

Jim's client pleads to twenty years in prison.

Chip's client says, ""This corrupt plea deal would be understandable if she had not lived her adult life lying, cheating, stealing and trying to kill anyone who crossed her or stood in her way," and "I feel completely betrayed by [the trial prosecutor and the elected DA] for making this crooked deal. It is clear that this monster is very unstable and she should spend the rest of her existence behind bars where she cannot attempt to kill anyone else." (She presumably refers, in that last sentence, to Jim's Client and not to the elected DA.)

Jim says, "Unfortunately, [his client] has to wake up now and realize that each morning, [Chip's client] gets to turn her head over on a pillow and look in to the eye of the person who was responsible for trying to get her killed. And that is something she's got to live with for a long time."

Chip says, "I'm completely offended that the district attorney's office would sell out to this degree. Jim...threw a fit that [Paul's Client's] case was going to be dismissed and [the elected DA] pacified [Jim] by giving his client just 20 years."

The elected DA writes a news release: "Chip...has once again demonstrated that he and the truth are strangers, and calumny is his constant companion. Defamation spews from his lips as naturally as breathing."

Chip responds, ""I appreciate her flowery language but find it extremely odd given her track record of the lies, that she would choose to recriminate me in this setting. I'm not at all surprised that she would sink to such deplorable tactics. It is absolutely a new low."

Even without extra points for transitive use of "recriminate," I think Chip wins this round on points: he could, depending on the situation, spin Lykos's news release two ways, either of which would be good for him with potential clients: "look, I do such a good job that the DA attacked me publicly" or (after January) "look, I'm so tight with the elected DA that the last DA attacked me publicly." And laugh all the way to the bank.