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Recent Blog Posts
Federal Criminal Defense Lawyers: How We Doin'?
Today I saw "Edwin" in court. Edwin is a longtime criminal-defense lawyer, a former assistant federal PD, and one of my criminal trial advocacy professors at University of Houston law school.
Edwin represented a codefendant in my first jury trial 12 years ago, and his client's testimony sent my client to prison for 9 years on a federal bank robbery beef. I was reminiscing with Edwin about how his client sold mine up the river when he shook his head and said, "bank robbery cases can't be won."
We talked some more, and I told him how the Government had, after my client refused to plead guilty to misprision, dismissed a ten-kilos-and-two-guns case on the eve of trial a couple of months ago. Again Edwin shook his head and said, "that never happens. They never dismiss."
Now, Edwin is not some assclown who thinks federal court is a good place to turn a quick buck by running every defendant down to the U.S. Attorney's Office. He's a smart, talented guy with a lot of federal criminal defense experience. But he was telling me, in effect, "everyone gets convicted."
Cop Blogs
I've added a section to the blogroll for cops' blogs.
You wouldn't guess it from reading offense reports, but some of these guys can write.
If you got stopped....you deserved itA motorcycle cop.
Officer "Smith": Thoughts From Behind the BadgeA California cop.
The LawDog FilesA Texas cop, but not an enemy of the Fourth Amendment.
Cop n' attitudeOfficer Krupke, Somewhere in America.
The Credit Privacy Number (CPN) Scam
There are lots of people willing to sell you "credit privacy numbers." A credit privacy number (or "credit profile number") is a nine-digit number that looks like a social security number. Those selling "credit privacy numbers" or "credit profile numbers" try to convince their customers that they can use their CPNs to "repair" or obtain credit.
The rationale (repeated here, and here, and here [Cordell Davenport, you're a brave {or foolish} man to put your face on advice to commit fraud; doing so is at least a civil violation; when the feds come knocking don't say a word till you've hired me], and here, and here) is this:
Asshat Lawyer of the Day Kirk Bernard
Washington personal injury lawyer Kirk Bernard.
No editorializing required-Kirk makes it look so easy.
(H/T Kevin O'Keefe via Twitter.)
(More: Kirk Bernard is a Slime Ball.)
DIP... Stuff
The Harris County District Attorney's Office has not had time to talk to the defense bar about the outlines of the new pretrial diversion program for first-time DWI offenders, but it has had time to talk to the press (enough to convince the Chronicle's editors, clueless about criminal procedure, to endorse it), and now to the misdemeanor court coordinators. We now know the name of the program (DIP) and some of the guidelines and procedures, but we still don't know the single thing that will be most important to our clients: when or whether a successfully-completed diversion under the DIP program will be expungeable.
Following, for your commenting pleasure, is one court coordinator's summary of yesterday's meeting with the DA's Office:_________________________
Many of you have been asking meabout the new DIP program for 1st time DWI offenders. Well here is what was saidat our coordinators meeting yesterday...this is what has been put togetherso far (it may change – but for now – here is where Lykos isat) Disposition InterventionProgram
Coming Soon: Retard Kolaches
I hate to say, "that's just not funny." Even aside from the Feminist Law Profs ownership of that particular intellectual property (and you do not want to tangle with the FLPs), I figure it's better to respect the dark humor in a situation than to pretend it doesn't exist. But c'mon now, Psycho Donuts: "A padded cell, a ‘nutcase' art display"? Straitjackets for the kiddos? "Bipolar" donuts? "Massive Head Trauma" donuts?
Really?
How about these new business ideas (free to anyone who can get an SBA loan)?:
Cripple Chili Dogs, where all the sandwiches are broken in amusing ways.
Boozehound Smoothies, with drinks like the "Mad Dog", the "Sterno", and the "DTs".
Blogging on Chron.commons
In support of my local newspaper, I've started blogging on Chron.commons. My idea is to put posts of interest to the general public there, and posts of interest to the criminal defense bar here.
My first post on Chron.commons: Smoke. AND Mirrors.
The Club
Gerry Spence spoke today at the end of the Texas Criminal Defense Lawyers Association's annual Rusty Duncan Seminar. I could see why they put Gerry last-if he spoke first, most of the lawyers talking about lawyer stuff would seem largely irrelevant or quaintly unself-aware.
One speaker, for example, advocated telling jurors who gave "good" answers on voir dire: "Have you served on a jury before? Because most people wouldn't think of that." What is that, a juror pickup line? Worse, he suggested that line after advocating not talking down to jurors. Could you find something more condescending than that to say to the jury?
One of Gerry's themes was that the trial is about credibility. (Of course it is.) What does sucking up to a prospective juror do for the lawyer's credibility? Squat. It must work for that particular speaker, though, since TCDLA invites him to speak at its seminars; there's no accounting for taste. (His definition of "good" answers seemed to be, "answers that show me that the juror is on my side", which reveals a less-than-advanced understanding of jury selection.)
The Rich Pay to Play; Let the Poor Eat Cake.
My old friend Mr. X, the Deep Throat of the DA's Office, does not like DA Lykos's proposal to offer pretrial diversion to people charged with first DWIs. He writes:
Let's assume the pretrial diversions will be expungeable because the way that Lykos has talked about them they'll be more like pretrial interventions where charges are not formally filed (like the current juvenile system). Why is no one bothered by the inherent problem that rich folks get to buy justice? Only folks of decent means will be able to afford the guardian interlock that will be required plus the lab and supervisory fees. That means that defendants with less money will end up with convictions PLUS they get doubly screwed because they'll have to pay the DPS surcharges that accompany a conviction that the rich defendants won't have to pay. Call me idealistic. I know the system favors wealth but I don't think it should do so so obviously.
How about it?
Having an ignition interlock, a device that requires the driver to give a breath sample before starting the car, is not ordinarily a condition of probation for a first DWI in Harris County. Such a device costs about $100 a month. That's less than the monthly Starbucks budget for most judges, but it's serious money for ordinary folk.
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